India Today

Terrorist 1: Dammit Ali I’ve told you a million times to watch where you point that thing.
Terrorist 2: Huh? Dude, I’m right here.
Terrorist 1: Wait. If that isnt you, who the hell is firing at us?
Terrorist 2: Maybe its the Indian army. Lol.
Terrorist 1:Lol.
Terrorist 3: You gaiz, it is the Indian army.
All Terrorists: SHIT! Call HQ.
Nawaz Sharif: Hello?
Terrorists: Bro wtf? You said this would never happen.
Nawaz Sharif: Huh?
Terrorists: Its the Indian army dude! Dey here!
Nawaz Sharif: No they arent.
Terrorists: Bro they are shooting at us right NOW!
Nawaz Sharif: Nope. Never happened.
Terrorists: This isnt funny man, these boys aint playin-(STATIC)
Nawaz Sharif: I miss Vajpayee’s pigeons.
BJP: Today, we conducted surgical strikes against-
Kejriwal: Pics or didn’t happen.
BJP: Ravan’s balls! Not this clown again.
Me: Hmm. Isn’t it odd that-
Modified moron: How dare you question our glorious leader? Go back to your pokey mans traitor.
Me: Its Pokemon asshole.
Modified Moron: Pokeman, Musalman, same difference you filthy atheist anti national tree hugging feminist presstitute liberal. Fuck you. Go to Pakistan.
Me: I didnt even-
BJP: Sir, I think its working-
Modi: Shhhh. Be cool.
Kejriwal: Modi ate my baby.
Liberals: (Collective facepalm)

Meanwhile, in the rest of the world:

Trump: The Indians need to build them a wall.
The world: Fo realz USA?
USA: Our bad.
Elon Musk: Fuck it. I’m out. Mars it is.
Me: MARRY ME TONY STAR- I mean, Dear Mr Musk. Please take me with you.
Skynet: Soon.

The End.